So I log in to my blog after a while, and I notice that I last posted something in March 2009, and I was totally shocked ! I actually enjoyed blogging, believe it or not, and I thought this was something that I would do regularly. Its not like I have a lack of things to write about, I constantly find myself thinking about things and say to myself " This would be something nice to blog about", the only thing being I never actually get around to sitting and typing one out. Blame it on Netflix, the reversion to my favorite source of entertainment, the T.V. , or be it my pastime of choice, my lovely new XBox 360, but I just seem to have better things to do.
Now having the New Year dawn upon us brings us back to the same old routine of New Year resolutions, we all decide on a few, carry them out religiously, wait till February / March and then just give up saying what the heck. Not that I'm blaming the world for me failing to do so, but when you have St Patrick's day to celebrate and you took a resolution to stop drinking, well its just hard isn't it. Why the hell couldn't we have St Patrick's day in October ? That way I could have layed off till then ! Not that I'm done making excuses for pretend resolutions, what I did decide was to make sure I do certain things this year, and amongst Jogging everyday and eating right etc, is this. Blogging. Its going to be my sincere effort to write one up every week, and it would be an injustice if I didn't thank my employers. Without their support and not giving me work to do, I don't think I would have been able to this.
Having done away with the idiosyncratic nonsense that I usually use in the first two paragraphs to shoo away people who don't " Truly Believe", I shall now start writing about what I actually wanted to right about. Congratulations to those who are continuing to read this after the drivel I've served up in the first 2 paragraphs, i'm honored to have you continue read on in hope of a better ending.
My topic is this, and what I mean by this title is, why do we continuously strive to step on to the next ladder of " life ", why do we want to always be seen as moving forward, and not content where we are ? That next promotion, that next big raise, ooh can I buy my own car now ?, how about that shiny new smart phone by HTC, man I wish I could cancel my contract now and get that phone etc etc etc, the bloody list just never ends. So how do i stop falling into this whirlpool of never ending social ambitions ?
About a year ago, when the never ending job search was already to get on my nerves ( ha ha ha if only I knew the crap that was left !! ), my good friend ( I won't name her for fear of embarrassing her ) and I came up with a list. Not a bucket list, just a list of things that we wanted to have when we got jobs. Mind you I don't know why we assumed we would have the money to buy all this I never knew, but then we were young back then :P. It had the usual stuff, mac book, a new iPod, some speakers, blah blah blah. I never really looked back at it till a week or so ago. Believe it or not, i actually printed mine out, and while clearing some papers, I stumbled upon this sheet. It took me not long to read through, and as I chuckled at some of the items mentioned on it, I realized that we always seem to want want and only want. I don't mean to imply its bad to want stuff and to be comfortable and in no way to do i want to live like a saint in the Himalayas, but I paused to wonder about somethings.
You see, I'm currently already thinking about my job and if its right for me and so on, and if I actually will have anything to do 4-5 months from now. Not that its wrong to always think about stuff like this, but I immediately began to think of salaries, of visa issues and so on and so forth. I've become so blinded by the " target " of needing to earn X amount / month from April that it seems to cloud my very functioning in the office, and seems to occupy a constant presence in my head and I end up thinking about it more often than I would like to. 3 months ago, I would have given an arm, 2 legs, and a bit of my stomach to have a job, it seems ironic, and a lot more moronic that I seem to want something " better " now. Why is it that I can't seem to content just doing the same things everyday. settle into a nice old routine and do things that might mean more to me ? Like concentrate on my volunteer activities, read more books etc ? That's when it hit me, life is a vicious circle of being vicious.
For example, if I did want to concentrate on volunteer activities, I'd have to go to place every weekend etc, and help out, something I would love doing.!!! But how am I supposed to do that without a car ? Its not like the Bus 600 is the most reliable is it ? How else do I get to wherever I need to get to ? It just seems sometimes as though to do something, you need something, and to get that something you need something, which 999/1000 times is green and has some past presidents faces on it. How do we even get about to doing something positive and meaningful if you need a "generator" get you started ? I don't see a way out of this either, if someone does, then enlighten me too will you.
We all struggle to take steps forward, irrespective of what we're doing, and the grass seems greener on the other side as well. But all strive forward, and even if we can't , we try and show the world that we're at least trying to mover forward, like that's some consolation prize. People who are happy doing what they're doing, however small and insignificant it might be, we immediately think something is wrong with them. We all fall prey to the pressure and " demands " of the world today, continuously asking to move forward and "progress".
Well I've had enough, i'm tired of striving for better and better and better, tired of having to constantly think about " 6 months from now" and tired of trying to convince the world that people can be different and still be happy. I want to be happy, and happy on my terms. I know people say a contented person isn't successful, but i'm happy being success"half". ( Pun Intended ).
Be happy, and don't worry if you are, coz there's nothing better to do.
Now having the New Year dawn upon us brings us back to the same old routine of New Year resolutions, we all decide on a few, carry them out religiously, wait till February / March and then just give up saying what the heck. Not that I'm blaming the world for me failing to do so, but when you have St Patrick's day to celebrate and you took a resolution to stop drinking, well its just hard isn't it. Why the hell couldn't we have St Patrick's day in October ? That way I could have layed off till then ! Not that I'm done making excuses for pretend resolutions, what I did decide was to make sure I do certain things this year, and amongst Jogging everyday and eating right etc, is this. Blogging. Its going to be my sincere effort to write one up every week, and it would be an injustice if I didn't thank my employers. Without their support and not giving me work to do, I don't think I would have been able to this.
Having done away with the idiosyncratic nonsense that I usually use in the first two paragraphs to shoo away people who don't " Truly Believe", I shall now start writing about what I actually wanted to right about. Congratulations to those who are continuing to read this after the drivel I've served up in the first 2 paragraphs, i'm honored to have you continue read on in hope of a better ending.
My topic is this, and what I mean by this title is, why do we continuously strive to step on to the next ladder of " life ", why do we want to always be seen as moving forward, and not content where we are ? That next promotion, that next big raise, ooh can I buy my own car now ?, how about that shiny new smart phone by HTC, man I wish I could cancel my contract now and get that phone etc etc etc, the bloody list just never ends. So how do i stop falling into this whirlpool of never ending social ambitions ?
About a year ago, when the never ending job search was already to get on my nerves ( ha ha ha if only I knew the crap that was left !! ), my good friend ( I won't name her for fear of embarrassing her ) and I came up with a list. Not a bucket list, just a list of things that we wanted to have when we got jobs. Mind you I don't know why we assumed we would have the money to buy all this I never knew, but then we were young back then :P. It had the usual stuff, mac book, a new iPod, some speakers, blah blah blah. I never really looked back at it till a week or so ago. Believe it or not, i actually printed mine out, and while clearing some papers, I stumbled upon this sheet. It took me not long to read through, and as I chuckled at some of the items mentioned on it, I realized that we always seem to want want and only want. I don't mean to imply its bad to want stuff and to be comfortable and in no way to do i want to live like a saint in the Himalayas, but I paused to wonder about somethings.
You see, I'm currently already thinking about my job and if its right for me and so on, and if I actually will have anything to do 4-5 months from now. Not that its wrong to always think about stuff like this, but I immediately began to think of salaries, of visa issues and so on and so forth. I've become so blinded by the " target " of needing to earn X amount / month from April that it seems to cloud my very functioning in the office, and seems to occupy a constant presence in my head and I end up thinking about it more often than I would like to. 3 months ago, I would have given an arm, 2 legs, and a bit of my stomach to have a job, it seems ironic, and a lot more moronic that I seem to want something " better " now. Why is it that I can't seem to content just doing the same things everyday. settle into a nice old routine and do things that might mean more to me ? Like concentrate on my volunteer activities, read more books etc ? That's when it hit me, life is a vicious circle of being vicious.
For example, if I did want to concentrate on volunteer activities, I'd have to go to place every weekend etc, and help out, something I would love doing.!!! But how am I supposed to do that without a car ? Its not like the Bus 600 is the most reliable is it ? How else do I get to wherever I need to get to ? It just seems sometimes as though to do something, you need something, and to get that something you need something, which 999/1000 times is green and has some past presidents faces on it. How do we even get about to doing something positive and meaningful if you need a "generator" get you started ? I don't see a way out of this either, if someone does, then enlighten me too will you.
We all struggle to take steps forward, irrespective of what we're doing, and the grass seems greener on the other side as well. But all strive forward, and even if we can't , we try and show the world that we're at least trying to mover forward, like that's some consolation prize. People who are happy doing what they're doing, however small and insignificant it might be, we immediately think something is wrong with them. We all fall prey to the pressure and " demands " of the world today, continuously asking to move forward and "progress".
Well I've had enough, i'm tired of striving for better and better and better, tired of having to constantly think about " 6 months from now" and tired of trying to convince the world that people can be different and still be happy. I want to be happy, and happy on my terms. I know people say a contented person isn't successful, but i'm happy being success"half". ( Pun Intended ).
Be happy, and don't worry if you are, coz there's nothing better to do.
3 comments:
well said.. and I agree, I havent yet got into the maddening mouse trap.. but am dreading it already.. unfortunately simple pleasures of a happy life remains the "promised land" at the end of the strife.. and the strife doesnt seem to end in a long long time.. the light at the end of the tunnel is pure farce as it always turns out to be a street light in the tunnel leading to more length of the damn tunnel!
I think like you said the simple pleasures of a happy life never seem to satisfy us ever. Somehow from sharing a box of a studio apt, or having a larger studio apt to oneself, things never seem to be enough..!!!
fatty, you need to stop thinking so much. it must be quite a painful process.
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