So when people read my post last week, a number of people seemed to have read it but not bothered to comment on it. Now LISTEN UP people, I don't care if you have 4 paragraphs to write, 2 lines, or just want to GOIYYAN ! to my post, you better move your fingers a little and type out a comment. Yes I know my blogs aren't that important to your lives, but it makes me feel a little more self important, and so in order to amuse me, lets start building up a pretend fan base ?
The reason why I've taken up such an adverse reaction to people commenting is that one such person apparently " I won't comment on the main content...but i love ur blog just for one line..."but then we were young back then". Now since I don't like embarrassing people on a public forum like this, and also because I don't admit to knowing this person at most times, I won't mention his name but suffice to say you old old man, if I'm 25 your 45 and if I feel 45 you must be feeling 70. And next time, post a comment here instead of bloody old facebook. In the words of Red Foreman " DUMBASS".
I will admit though that his comment did intrigue me into wondering why I did write that line out in the blog. Do I really feel " OLD " ?. Is age somehow catching up on me ? Am I not at the stage where the head of my college once said " Entry is not important , Exit ees vonly important, because these guyses are in their youths ". Am I not still in my youth ? Should I not be feeling young and vibrant and etc etc and whatever nonsense comes on in those ridiculously early morning shows about self help and positive thinking ? Why is it then that all I want to do is sleep / eat / play XBox / Watch T.V. and feel like telling people who want me to come skiiing, " Oh I'm too old for that now ".
I've come to realize, that yes, for some reason or another, I do feel a little older than I did a while back. Now I'm sure some smart ass is thinking, well of course you dolt, if your older by 2 years, then you obviously will fell older. Ignoring such drivel and frivolous arguments aside, what I mean is I really do feel OLD. Not that I'm going through a midlife crisis or anything, but somehow the things that I used to be able to do, and also want do when I was younger ,I really don't seem to have the enthusiasm for too much nowadays. I mean, stuff like staying up the whole night gaming, or staying up the whole night watching movies / sitcoms or just being able to be on what I call high - energy mode the whole day.
It's when I was feeling all down in the dumps because of this that I realized the root cause of this problem. I mean I'm, only 24, still mange to have quite a bit of fun, and still seem to be able to sleep long long hours. Playing video games etc is never a problem either, so why do I feel old ? And here's the answer to this, and its not something that one really expects. Its the kids. Yes, I don't mean my kids, but I mean kids in general. I think kinds nowadays seem to grow up too fast, seem to grow too quickly, and make us feel bad in the process. It's not that I have anything against them, I think kids nowadays are smarter, quicker and sharper than any of us could even hope to be when we were that young.
Let me explain as to why I really think that's the case. I've been fortunate (some cases unfortunate) to have been around plenty of kids in the little while I've spent here. And it's never ceased to amaze me how intelligent they are, how much bigger a mouth they have (I mean that in a good way) and how much sharper they are. When I say that I mean street smart, they're quick to latch on things, they know when your giving them crap and they're smart enough to come back with a retort. They learn things a lot faster than you, they also seem to able to learn a lot more than you, and make you feel pretty stupid at times. It almost seems to me as if kids grow up faster these days and this progression is so rapid, that often on, when the pace slows down , they feel stagnated. What I mean to say by this is that compared to the previous generation. we were probably a lot quicker and learn;t stuff faster, but that's an age gap of 25 years or so, and you would obviously expect things to progress more rapidly then. But its been extremely surprising to see how much more rapdily kids are learning things, and these are kids maybe 10-11 years younger than. Trust me there's no way when I was 10 years old that I would be able buy a music album on an ipod touch even if someone paid me to do it, leave alone use my dad's credit card. No chance of me sitting up for 4 hours to do howmwork, actually making a brochure, printing it out and showing it to my parents and getting them to sign off. On a sunday night, I saw football games, and whatever games were on, HW just had to wait till I had time to do it.
What intrigues me and also makes me extremely proud is that although we would expect kids nowadays to be bratty, irresponsible and disrespectful, I find that they are, for the most part quite the opposite of that. Although there might not be the same approach that we or our parents had to the more serious aspects of life, I find their attitude refreshing and what more important , they get the job done. While we worry about their distractions, the temptations that modern world present and so on so forth, I find a reassuring calmness about them. I think we always continue to think of elders as being wise and knowledgeable, but sometimes, its not always how you get to a place, so long as you get to it.
I'm not sure what the message I was trying to send out is, but I guess most of my blogs are random musings!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
All I want is everything !
So I log in to my blog after a while, and I notice that I last posted something in March 2009, and I was totally shocked ! I actually enjoyed blogging, believe it or not, and I thought this was something that I would do regularly. Its not like I have a lack of things to write about, I constantly find myself thinking about things and say to myself " This would be something nice to blog about", the only thing being I never actually get around to sitting and typing one out. Blame it on Netflix, the reversion to my favorite source of entertainment, the T.V. , or be it my pastime of choice, my lovely new XBox 360, but I just seem to have better things to do.
Now having the New Year dawn upon us brings us back to the same old routine of New Year resolutions, we all decide on a few, carry them out religiously, wait till February / March and then just give up saying what the heck. Not that I'm blaming the world for me failing to do so, but when you have St Patrick's day to celebrate and you took a resolution to stop drinking, well its just hard isn't it. Why the hell couldn't we have St Patrick's day in October ? That way I could have layed off till then ! Not that I'm done making excuses for pretend resolutions, what I did decide was to make sure I do certain things this year, and amongst Jogging everyday and eating right etc, is this. Blogging. Its going to be my sincere effort to write one up every week, and it would be an injustice if I didn't thank my employers. Without their support and not giving me work to do, I don't think I would have been able to this.
Having done away with the idiosyncratic nonsense that I usually use in the first two paragraphs to shoo away people who don't " Truly Believe", I shall now start writing about what I actually wanted to right about. Congratulations to those who are continuing to read this after the drivel I've served up in the first 2 paragraphs, i'm honored to have you continue read on in hope of a better ending.
My topic is this, and what I mean by this title is, why do we continuously strive to step on to the next ladder of " life ", why do we want to always be seen as moving forward, and not content where we are ? That next promotion, that next big raise, ooh can I buy my own car now ?, how about that shiny new smart phone by HTC, man I wish I could cancel my contract now and get that phone etc etc etc, the bloody list just never ends. So how do i stop falling into this whirlpool of never ending social ambitions ?
About a year ago, when the never ending job search was already to get on my nerves ( ha ha ha if only I knew the crap that was left !! ), my good friend ( I won't name her for fear of embarrassing her ) and I came up with a list. Not a bucket list, just a list of things that we wanted to have when we got jobs. Mind you I don't know why we assumed we would have the money to buy all this I never knew, but then we were young back then :P. It had the usual stuff, mac book, a new iPod, some speakers, blah blah blah. I never really looked back at it till a week or so ago. Believe it or not, i actually printed mine out, and while clearing some papers, I stumbled upon this sheet. It took me not long to read through, and as I chuckled at some of the items mentioned on it, I realized that we always seem to want want and only want. I don't mean to imply its bad to want stuff and to be comfortable and in no way to do i want to live like a saint in the Himalayas, but I paused to wonder about somethings.
You see, I'm currently already thinking about my job and if its right for me and so on, and if I actually will have anything to do 4-5 months from now. Not that its wrong to always think about stuff like this, but I immediately began to think of salaries, of visa issues and so on and so forth. I've become so blinded by the " target " of needing to earn X amount / month from April that it seems to cloud my very functioning in the office, and seems to occupy a constant presence in my head and I end up thinking about it more often than I would like to. 3 months ago, I would have given an arm, 2 legs, and a bit of my stomach to have a job, it seems ironic, and a lot more moronic that I seem to want something " better " now. Why is it that I can't seem to content just doing the same things everyday. settle into a nice old routine and do things that might mean more to me ? Like concentrate on my volunteer activities, read more books etc ? That's when it hit me, life is a vicious circle of being vicious.
For example, if I did want to concentrate on volunteer activities, I'd have to go to place every weekend etc, and help out, something I would love doing.!!! But how am I supposed to do that without a car ? Its not like the Bus 600 is the most reliable is it ? How else do I get to wherever I need to get to ? It just seems sometimes as though to do something, you need something, and to get that something you need something, which 999/1000 times is green and has some past presidents faces on it. How do we even get about to doing something positive and meaningful if you need a "generator" get you started ? I don't see a way out of this either, if someone does, then enlighten me too will you.
We all struggle to take steps forward, irrespective of what we're doing, and the grass seems greener on the other side as well. But all strive forward, and even if we can't , we try and show the world that we're at least trying to mover forward, like that's some consolation prize. People who are happy doing what they're doing, however small and insignificant it might be, we immediately think something is wrong with them. We all fall prey to the pressure and " demands " of the world today, continuously asking to move forward and "progress".
Well I've had enough, i'm tired of striving for better and better and better, tired of having to constantly think about " 6 months from now" and tired of trying to convince the world that people can be different and still be happy. I want to be happy, and happy on my terms. I know people say a contented person isn't successful, but i'm happy being success"half". ( Pun Intended ).
Be happy, and don't worry if you are, coz there's nothing better to do.
Now having the New Year dawn upon us brings us back to the same old routine of New Year resolutions, we all decide on a few, carry them out religiously, wait till February / March and then just give up saying what the heck. Not that I'm blaming the world for me failing to do so, but when you have St Patrick's day to celebrate and you took a resolution to stop drinking, well its just hard isn't it. Why the hell couldn't we have St Patrick's day in October ? That way I could have layed off till then ! Not that I'm done making excuses for pretend resolutions, what I did decide was to make sure I do certain things this year, and amongst Jogging everyday and eating right etc, is this. Blogging. Its going to be my sincere effort to write one up every week, and it would be an injustice if I didn't thank my employers. Without their support and not giving me work to do, I don't think I would have been able to this.
Having done away with the idiosyncratic nonsense that I usually use in the first two paragraphs to shoo away people who don't " Truly Believe", I shall now start writing about what I actually wanted to right about. Congratulations to those who are continuing to read this after the drivel I've served up in the first 2 paragraphs, i'm honored to have you continue read on in hope of a better ending.
My topic is this, and what I mean by this title is, why do we continuously strive to step on to the next ladder of " life ", why do we want to always be seen as moving forward, and not content where we are ? That next promotion, that next big raise, ooh can I buy my own car now ?, how about that shiny new smart phone by HTC, man I wish I could cancel my contract now and get that phone etc etc etc, the bloody list just never ends. So how do i stop falling into this whirlpool of never ending social ambitions ?
About a year ago, when the never ending job search was already to get on my nerves ( ha ha ha if only I knew the crap that was left !! ), my good friend ( I won't name her for fear of embarrassing her ) and I came up with a list. Not a bucket list, just a list of things that we wanted to have when we got jobs. Mind you I don't know why we assumed we would have the money to buy all this I never knew, but then we were young back then :P. It had the usual stuff, mac book, a new iPod, some speakers, blah blah blah. I never really looked back at it till a week or so ago. Believe it or not, i actually printed mine out, and while clearing some papers, I stumbled upon this sheet. It took me not long to read through, and as I chuckled at some of the items mentioned on it, I realized that we always seem to want want and only want. I don't mean to imply its bad to want stuff and to be comfortable and in no way to do i want to live like a saint in the Himalayas, but I paused to wonder about somethings.
You see, I'm currently already thinking about my job and if its right for me and so on, and if I actually will have anything to do 4-5 months from now. Not that its wrong to always think about stuff like this, but I immediately began to think of salaries, of visa issues and so on and so forth. I've become so blinded by the " target " of needing to earn X amount / month from April that it seems to cloud my very functioning in the office, and seems to occupy a constant presence in my head and I end up thinking about it more often than I would like to. 3 months ago, I would have given an arm, 2 legs, and a bit of my stomach to have a job, it seems ironic, and a lot more moronic that I seem to want something " better " now. Why is it that I can't seem to content just doing the same things everyday. settle into a nice old routine and do things that might mean more to me ? Like concentrate on my volunteer activities, read more books etc ? That's when it hit me, life is a vicious circle of being vicious.
For example, if I did want to concentrate on volunteer activities, I'd have to go to place every weekend etc, and help out, something I would love doing.!!! But how am I supposed to do that without a car ? Its not like the Bus 600 is the most reliable is it ? How else do I get to wherever I need to get to ? It just seems sometimes as though to do something, you need something, and to get that something you need something, which 999/1000 times is green and has some past presidents faces on it. How do we even get about to doing something positive and meaningful if you need a "generator" get you started ? I don't see a way out of this either, if someone does, then enlighten me too will you.
We all struggle to take steps forward, irrespective of what we're doing, and the grass seems greener on the other side as well. But all strive forward, and even if we can't , we try and show the world that we're at least trying to mover forward, like that's some consolation prize. People who are happy doing what they're doing, however small and insignificant it might be, we immediately think something is wrong with them. We all fall prey to the pressure and " demands " of the world today, continuously asking to move forward and "progress".
Well I've had enough, i'm tired of striving for better and better and better, tired of having to constantly think about " 6 months from now" and tired of trying to convince the world that people can be different and still be happy. I want to be happy, and happy on my terms. I know people say a contented person isn't successful, but i'm happy being success"half". ( Pun Intended ).
Be happy, and don't worry if you are, coz there's nothing better to do.
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